MLW and I spent the day down in the basement cleaning. Cleaning up the detritus of 2 marriages, 10 years in the same house, and an area that was a dumping grounds for everything that came into our house.
Not fun. Interesting to see all of the old pictures, and books, clothes, and jewelry that we ran across. But still, not fun. And we only got to 1/4 of the total basement.
Sheesh.
namaste.
I have a reader who sends me stuff.
As if the first part of that sentence weren’t cool enough “I have a reader”. Said reader sends me stuff pretty much cinches the coolness part.
What is sent are jokes and commentary on what I have written. That being said, I asked permission to post some of what was sent, and that permission was granted.
Thanks.
I am not a big joke kinda guy, most jokes I really don’t get. But the ones that I have been sen are cute enough in their own right, so I thought that I would share them with you.
Lucky you.
Here is the first:
A lady goes to her priest one day and tells him, Father, I have a problem….
I have two female parrots,
But they only know how to say one thing.
‘What do they say?’ the priest inquired.
They say;
‘Hi, we’re hookers
Do you want to have some fun?
That’s obscene!’ the priest exclaimed,
Then he thought for a moment,
‘You know,’ he said,
‘I may have a solution to your problem.
I have two male talking parrots,
Which I have taught to pray and read the Bible.
Bring your two parrots over to my house,
And we’ll put them in the cage with FranK and Peter.
My parrots can teach your parrots to praise and worship,
And your parrots are sure to stop saying
that phrase . . In no time.
Thank you,’ the woman responded,
this may very well be the solution.
The next day,
She brought her female parrots to the priest’s house.
As he ushered her in,
She saw that his two male parrots
Were inside their cage holding rosary beads and praying.
Impressed,
She walked over and placed her parrots in with them.
After a few minutes,
The female parrots cried out in unison:
Hi, we’re hookers!
Do you want to have some fun?
There was stunned silence.
Shocked!!!
One male parrot looked over at the other male parrot
And exclaimed……………..
‘Put the beads away, Frank.
Our prayers have been answered!’
And then there is this one.
SPANISH Teacher was explaining to her class that, in Spanish, unlike
> English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine.
>
> ‘House’ for instance, is feminine: ‘la casa.’
> ‘Pencil,’ however, is masculine: ‘el lapiz.’
>
> So, a student asked, ‘What gender is ‘computer’?’
>
> Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two
> groups, male and female, and asked them to decide for themselves whether
> ‘computer’ should be a masculine or a feminine noun. Each group was
> asked to give four reasons for its recommendation.
>
> The men’s group decided that ‘computer’ should definitely be of the
> feminine gender (‘la Computadora’), because:
>
> 1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic;
>
> 2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is
> incomprehensible to everyone else;
>
> 3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for
> possible later retrieval; and
>
> 4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending
> half your paycheck on accessories for it.
>
> (THIS GETS BETTER!)
>
> The women’s group, however, concluded that computers should be Masculine
> (‘el computador’), because:
>
> 1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on.
>
> 2. They have a lot of data but still can’t think for themselves.
>
> 3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they
> ARE the problem; and
>
> 4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a
> little longer, you could have gotten a better model.
>
> As usual, the women won.
The second one is painful for me. Because of the time wasted figuring out the divisions, rather than the areas of commonality.
Namaste.
Jubilee Day 2008 is here. The weather is beautiful, and the crowds are in full force as you can see.
And if that picture doesn’t put it all into perspective how about this one?
We went with a friend of ours and without The Princess, who is on a vacation of her own to the Outer Banks with some friends. Lucky little devil. Anyway, I did the whole Italian Sausage, and deep fried mushrooms route. The mushrooms were perfect as deep fried mushrooms can only be perfect. The sandwich, eh. I do this every year where I get the sausage, and I really should just go with the chicken on a skewer, or a pork sandwich. There are only a few places that I have had really great sausage sandwiches, and Jubilee Day has never been one of them. We also had ice cream at Rakestraws, which is the absolute best ice cream around. Of course, any ice cream is the absolute best around as far as I am concerned.
We ran into some local celebrities there also. The Mayor of Mechanicsburg, Jack Ritter was there on stage getting things going. Rocking the top hat thing that he does. Mayor Ritter also owns a hardware store in town that is one of the great old time hardware stores in the area. The folks that work there are very friendly, and knowledgeable.
We ran into our choice for President, Barack Obama. We were looking for John McCain, but didn’t find him. We did find a booth that was asking the question of who would be better equipped to lead us to peace between Obama, and McCain. Unfortunately, the booth had a clown talking to the person who was operating the booth. That turned me off right from the get go. Clowns are evil.
And we also ran into Chuck Rhodes who is a weatherman on one of our local television stations. Chuck has been on local tv for years and is a much loved personality. He is a warm, and charming man when you meet him out on the street. Chuck is the weatherman that MLW grew up with. He is still doing the weather, but does a Charles Kurralt thing also. He has been replaced on the nightly news by meteorologist Mick O’Hearn.
There seemed to be way too many clowns roaming the streets for our tastes. Though I didn’t take any pictures of them, they were there. You will have to just believe me on this one. Every place I turned there were clowns. Clowns giving out balloons, clowns talking to people, clowns with their own booth. Creeped me way out.
And the clowns weren’t the only ones out in full regalia. Stoners, punks, Sk8r’s, Goth, and you name it was there. I saw more piercings today than I have seen in a long time. And of course the Army, and Marines were there appealing to the testosterone in the teenage boys. They had the boys, and a couple of girls doing pullups to win stuff. Craft vendors for every taste, and price range. We bought a picture for the living room, and a giraffe for The Princess. The one thing that was missing this year was the guy who makes corn brooms right there. He is someone that I look for everytime I go down to Jubilee Day. I miss him.
While we were at Rakestraws I met up with a couple of ladies who thought that I was the most handsome, and charming men around.
Just don’t tell my wife.
And next year stay out of my parking place.
Namaste.
Most likely, seeing as Apple has trademarked the Ipod for their own use. I wonder if I should trademark “Mypod”?
It makes me crazy to have people call vegetables “veggies”. They aren’t “veggies”, they are vegetables. Calling vegetables by some cutesy, stupid name does not make them all the more palatable. It makes you look ignorant. After all, cut up vegetables are only a vehicle to get as much of the vegetable dip into your gaping maw. Calling them “veggies”, and the dip “veggie dip” does nothing to negate the fact that you have just consumed as many calories as a Third World country.
Today is JUBILEE DAY!! JUBILEE DAY IS HERE!!!
I will post pictures later on this afternoon/evening. Promise. You will like them. You should be here.
Just stay out of my parking space.
Namaste.
An internal MP3, as it were.
Hope everyone had a good Father’s Day. I did. After I got out of work.
We went to a chain restaurant called Carrabbas. This is the same chain that owns Outback restaurants.
We have eaten at Carrabbas a few times, and have yet to have a bad meal. Last night MLW and I had the pollo rosa maria. It was wonderful. I also had to indulge myself in a limonfresca. That too hit the spot after a hot day at work.
And to finish it all off we had ice cream with a carmel sauce and carmelized pecans. Man, life is good when you have good food, and good company.
And that is what is playing on my personal MP3.
Namaste.
Jubilee Day is coming. Less than a week away.
And yes, I am already sick of talking about it. The Princess and I went to lunch today, as she is leaving with some friends to hang at the Outer Banks for a week and today was the last I would have to spend some time with her. She wants me to send some pics to her via my phone. That will cost me a bundle on my phone bill, but you know that I will do it. Dad’s do those kind of things.
It is being a hot June day here in the ‘Burg. And I am thinking of taking a nice cool nap under the air conditioner.
Namaste.
I did my last reminder about Jubilee Day on my Pennlive blog.
The first one I did drew a couple of reactions that were pretty funny to me. There I times that I do write tongue-in-cheek. And that can be misconstrued. Too bad. I still think it is funny.
Jubilee Day is a one-day street fair that has been going on in Mechanicsburg since the 1930’s. It is a really big deal around here. This year The Princess will be at the Outer Banks and unable to go with me. And this year will be the first time in about 5 years that I won’t be working on that day.
Yah!
Sausage sandwiches, fries, beer, and I forgot to mention the deep fried mushrooms. You can’t have Jubilee Day without fried mushrooms. I love fried mushrooms. Almost as much as I loved the burgers that I made last night that had cheese, and portobella mushrooms mixed in them. They were the absolute best.
I am making myself hungry with this talk.
Must stop now.
Namaste.
I was just looking at my sitemeter hits and guess what I found? Someone at DirtDevil.com has been checking out my blog. Must be because I was talking about the Jaguar vacuum my FIL bought for us.
This is the first time that I have found someone from a company whos product I was talking about checked out what I said. I am honored.
The vac is great also. It has 12 amps to it, and if you aren’t careful it will pull your socks off. When I fire it up the dog runs cause she knows that any loose hairs on her hide will be coming off if I have anything to say about it. Course she has to bark at it a bit just to show how big and bad she is.
Cerebus, the hound from Hell.
Namaste.
Ok, let’s all sing the birthday song because today is my birthday.
Happy birthday to you,
Happy birthday to you,
Happy birthday dear phil/sweetheart/Daddy/brother/son,
Happy birthday to you.
50 big ones today, folks.
The official half-century mark. And I seem to share my natal day with good company. First and foremost is my Aunt Marge. Marge is my Fathers sister. The only living sibling on my Fathers side. Marge and I are the crazy ones in the family. Love her madly.
Happy Birthday, Aunt Marge.
Everyone needs, and deserves and Aunt Marge.
And then there are all of the folks who are found on Famous Birthdays. Marge and I are every bit as famous as all of those folks.
MLW just informed me that one of her cousins also shares this day with Marge and myself. I always knew that I liked her cousin for a good reason.
Anyway. Send cards, gifts, money, and well wishes all day today. I promise that I will do the same on your birthday.
namaste.
Did you hear? Jubilee day is coming!!
What? You have never heard about Jubilee Day? Were you born in the Arctic Circle?
Jubilee Day is the largest one day carnival/eatfest/craftbuying/walkingaroundinthefewestclothespossible/sweatingmy assoffbecauseitissofreakinghot/musiclistening extravaganza in the world.
At least that is how it is marketed. Jubilee Day started as a way for local farmers could bring in their best to show off to the rest of the local farmers. A one day street county fair, if you will. Since its inception it has grown exponentially.
So if you are in the Mechanicsburg, Pennsylvania area the third thursday in June, you are hereby invited to Jubilee Day 2008.
Just don’t park in front of my house. Or move the lawn chairs I have out there saving my parking space. Because that is what we do around here. We put lawn chairs in our parking spaces to save them. So that we don’t have to have your car towed for parking where we normally park. Even though it is a public street. You wouldn’t understand unless you live here.
Namaste.
