I have a reader who sends me stuff.
As if the first part of that sentence weren’t cool enough “I have a reader”. Said reader sends me stuff pretty much cinches the coolness part.
What is sent are jokes and commentary on what I have written. That being said, I asked permission to post some of what was sent, and that permission was granted.
I am not a big joke kinda guy, most jokes I really don’t get. But the ones that I have been sen are cute enough in their own right, so I thought that I would share them with you.
Here is the first:
A lady goes to her priest one day and tells him, Father, I have a problem….
I have two female parrots,
But they only know how to say one thing.
‘What do they say?’ the priest inquired.
‘Hi, we’re hookers
Do you want to have some fun?
That’s obscene!’ the priest exclaimed,
Then he thought for a moment,
‘You know,’ he said,
‘I may have a solution to your problem.
I have two male talking parrots,
Which I have taught to pray and read the Bible.
Bring your two parrots over to my house,
And we’ll put them in the cage with FranK and Peter.
My parrots can teach your parrots to praise and worship,
And your parrots are sure to stop saying
that phrase . . In no time.
Thank you,’ the woman responded,
this may very well be the solution.
The next day,
She brought her female parrots to the priest’s house.
As he ushered her in,
She saw that his two male parrots
Were inside their cage holding rosary beads and praying.
She walked over and placed her parrots in with them.
After a few minutes,
The female parrots cried out in unison:
Hi, we’re hookers!
Do you want to have some fun?
There was stunned silence.
One male parrot looked over at the other male parrot
‘Put the beads away, Frank.
Our prayers have been answered!’
And then there is this one.
SPANISH Teacher was explaining to her class that, in Spanish, unlike
> English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine.
> ‘House’ for instance, is feminine: ‘la casa.’
> ‘Pencil,’ however, is masculine: ‘el lapiz.’
> So, a student asked, ‘What gender is ‘computer’?’
> Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two
> groups, male and female, and asked them to decide for themselves whether
> ‘computer’ should be a masculine or a feminine noun. Each group was
> asked to give four reasons for its recommendation.
> The men’s group decided that ‘computer’ should definitely be of the
> feminine gender (‘la Computadora’), because:
> 1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic;
> 2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is
> incomprehensible to everyone else;
> 3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for
> possible later retrieval; and
> 4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending
> half your paycheck on accessories for it.
> (THIS GETS BETTER!)
> The women’s group, however, concluded that computers should be Masculine
> (‘el computador’), because:
> 1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on.
> 2. They have a lot of data but still can’t think for themselves.
> 3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they
> ARE the problem; and
> 4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a
> little longer, you could have gotten a better model.
> As usual, the women won.
The second one is painful for me. Because of the time wasted figuring out the divisions, rather than the areas of commonality.