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The things in my head go ’round and ’round

This is my life. You can’t have it.

Archive for June, 2008


Graduated graduations

That time of year again.

But then isn’t every time of year, THAT time of year in one way or another? I think so.

But the time of year I am talking about now is graduation time.

Kids graduating from High School. Freedom! Blessed freedom from the horrors of having to get up EVERY DAY and go to school where they MAKE YOU DO STUFF THAT MEANS NOTHING!!

One day our kids will understand that they lived in a dream world for the first 18 years of their lives.

I was talking to a woman I work with on Sunday about her son’s graduation. I asked her when she started crying. She said that she didn’t. She is a liar, and I told her so. No one goes to their childs graduation and doesn’t cry. No one. I did, and I have the published proof.

I have 4 kids. Three of them didn’t have a choice of me as their Father, and one chose me. When I went to my eldest daughters graduation, it was in Phoenix, Arizona, with her mother and her step-father. I had to seperate myself from them so that I could sob my Dad tears in private. When my eldest son graduated, it was in Hartland, Michigan and I pretty much sobbed throughout the entire proceedings. When they released the graduates I was this 6′, 300 lb, sobbing juggernaut pushing my way through the crowd so that I could be the first to hug that boy.

And this is the child who thinks that he is not my “favorite”. Kids, sheesh.

After I finally put him back down on the floor, and pouring tears down his neck, I got this tap on my shoulder from a guy with a camera asking if I would be ok to have a picture published. What did I care? I had just seen my first born son graduate. A couple of days later the boy calls and says we made it on the front page of his local paper. Cool.

The youngest son’s graduation was a tad bit different. He graduated from the same school as his older brother, but there were no photogs around to record the event. Just me, my tears, and a lot of hugging. And some drama having to do with seats, the boys girlfriend, and his Mother. Who should learn how to make plans prior to an event happening, THEN she would have seats where she wanted them.

Now we have 5 years until The Princess graduates. I will be a mess, without a doubt. We chuckle about it, but it is something that my kids expect from me and I won’t let them down.

So don’t tell me that you didn’t cry when your son/daughter walked across that stage. I know that you did. And you know that you should. Because now is the time for those kids to start really flexing those wing muscles that you have been helping them build up. They are going to fall, and they are going to get bruised up. But they have to keep at it. That is their job.

And ours is to keep wiping away those tears.

Namaste.

Summer Television

I love summer television. All of the quirky shows that the various networks try out on us during the summer are the ones that I miss when the fall season comes back around.

The Closer started out as a summer replacement, and built up a big fan base so that is HAD to become a regular show. Burn Notice was a summer replacement last year, and is again this year. As you can see I watch a lot of USA network. Cable is my mecca.

This summer the buzz is about USA Network’s new original series In Plain Sight. It is about a couple of US Marshalls who work in the witness relocation services. Sounds pretty cool.

Just looking over the bios of the characters, I am reminded of my nephew who works for a protection service in government. Can’t say which one or else I would be killed. The character of Marshall reminds me of my nephew. Serious about his job, but with a great sense of humor, and sarcasm. For some reason our family has this thing about sarcasm.

So, to recap. Summer TV is very cool. USA Network has some of the coolest shows. And you have to go check them out.

namaste.

Sponsored by USA Network's new original series In Plain Sight

The Things in My Head - Friday

The things in my head are clamoring about all of the graduations that are going on this week, and next. Thousands of kids getting their diplomas, and jumping out into the real world.

Right.

First they have to go to the Bahamas, Mexico, the ocean. Get drunk, dance like maniacs, and hopefully not land in a foreign country. THEN, and only then will they have to get their shaggy butts out of bed at a reasonable time and GET TO WORK ON TIME.

MLW and I don’t have any kids that are graduating this year. But the youngest son has a girlfriend (imagine that!) who will be graduating in a couple of weeks.

Congratulations BallerinaGirl!!

We have had the pleasure of meeting said-girlfriend, and she is a doll. But she needs to get a tighter leash on that son of mine. Especially this fall when they both start college.

Namaste.

The Things in My Mind - Thursday

Let us talk retail.

Yeah. I think that it is time.

When you look at a grocery store what do you see? Four walls that hold all of the things you like to eat, or someplace where you can act like and idiot and get away with it?

Hmmm?

A grocery store is just a larger version of your refrigerator. Keep that in mind as we talk.

A grocery store is layed out so that the perimeter is where you are going to spend the most amount of money. Get used to that fact, it doesn’t change. I want you to make some forays into the center of the “box”, but I don’t want you to spend a lot of time there. I want you to spend about 55 -65% of your time there. I want the rest along the perimeter. Because that is where I make the most money.

The center of a store is cans, and boxes. They don’t need refrigeration. The perimeter is produce, meat, deli, seafood, and dairy. They need refrigeration. Hence the refrigerator analogy.

Yesterday my store had a power outage. No power. But we had lights, and we could run the cash registers. Why? How? Because we have a generator. And we need that generator to run the computers so that we don’t lose the information that they have in them. We do not, and most retailers do not, have a generator that will run the refrigeration. That generator would be too huge, and expensive. The one we have just for the lights, and computers is the size of a 400 cubic inch v-8 engine. Like from a cadillac. Go open the hood on your grandfathers car and you will get the idea.

So. Having lights tends to confuse people. They think that even though I am putting plastic over the meat, and the dairy, and every other refrigerated case, that they can push me out of the way to get what it is that they want.

Not so.

Everytime you open a door to a refrigerated case, and the power is not on, you are losing cold air. Cold air that won’t be replaced. BECAUSE THE POWER IS NOT ON YOU IDIOT!!!

Maybe the next time YOUR power goes out, I can come to your house and stand in front of your refrigerator with the door open. Think that you might like that?

And when I tell you that the power is out, don’t act like you haven’t been hearing the announcements that we have been making for THE PAST 30 MINUTES, YOU IDIOT!! It just makes you look silly. Especially when you ask what is going on, all I do is smile, and point to the ceiling where yet another annoucement is taking place telling you that we are sorry but due to losing power we ask that you not open the freezer doors.

Let’s recap. Power on…all of the lights on, and no plastic on the dairy, meat, seafood, and produce cases. Power off…not all of the lights are no, someone is making an announcement about the power being off, and keep your mitts off of my freezer doors.

Thanks. Glad we straightened that one out.

Namaste.

The Things in My Head - Monday

The Things in My Head today are:

Fresh mulch stinks worse than pig shit. Believe me. Ok. Maybe not worse, but the smell of fresh mulch really gets on my nerves.

I have had the last 3 days off, and I have been one dish washing machine. Who do the people who live in this house think that they are? And how can 3 people go through so many freaking dishes?

I have lawn mowing to do today, along with turning the compost. Sounds like wild, and crazy times doesn’t it?

namaste.

Special Announcement!! Special Announcement!!

Announcing a new exploration into the minds and stomachs of Central Pennsylvania. The Pennsylvania Beer and Brewing Guide.

A journey into this insanity that makes some of us brew our own beer, and then foist it on our friends and neighbors. And a look at those who do it successfully.

It is new, but come back every couple of days and you will find things that will astound you.

Promise.

Namaste