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The things in my head go 'round and 'round

This is my life. You can't have it.

Archive for February, 2009


We gotta get out of this place

I am officially sick of winter. I am sick of the cold, the wet, the snow, the ice, having to drive it the snow and ice. I am sick of it being dark at 5pm. I am sick of having to go to work in the dark, and then coming home in the dark. I am officially sick of having to wear 6 layers of clothing just to get from my house to my car.

I am sick of winter. We have gotta get out of this place, and go to somewhere warm. and of course we will need to have transportation when we get there, so this enterprise coupon from Enterprise Rent-a-Car will come in very handy. So if you don’t live in the Southwest, you gotta click on the link, get the coupon, and get the heck out of the cold to someplace that is warm.

I know that I am.

25 Random Things That Piss Me Off

Over on FaceCrack everyone and their brother is doing a “25 random things about me” kind of thing. And of course I caved and did a couple myself. First I did the “25 freaking random things about me” thing. And then I did the “The randomness of 25 things” thing.

And I have gotten rather sick of it all. So I have just decided that I am going to have to do a “25 Random Things That Piss Me Off” post.

Sit back, and get ready.

1. Not knowing who is going to show up for dinner. I make dinner for the fam on my days off from my real job. When my FIL shows up, we have to eat around 5pm. If he isn’t there we can eat at a more leisurely time. I just want to know who and when. That is all that I ask.

2. People whining about the economy. Know how much you have to spend, and don’t over spend it. It is going to get a whole lot worse before it gets better folks, so you had better learn how to eat ramen noodles.

3. Speed limits are not suggestions.

4. More later.

5. Truck drivers who feel the need to tailgate me as we are coming down a hill. Please understand that I am trying to find out if you are an independant, or a company driver. Because if you are a company driver all I have to do is to hit my brakes and let you rear end my vehicle. I might not get a whole lot of money out of it, but I will seriously mess up your world.

6. People who talk to me while I am talking on the phone. I cannot listen and talk all at the same time.

7. People in an emergency situation who identify themselves as “EMT trained”, or as belonging to a fire company, but do not want to get involved in said incident. If you have nothing to add or do not want to help get the hell out of the way.

8. People who make the comment of “you are out of everything” in reference to what I have in the store I manager. The store carries 35,000 items. There is no way we can be “out of everything”. Most of those items are comparable items, 6 different kinds of ketchup for instance, not to mention the 21 varieties of mustard. Just to name a couple.

9. People who are ill going out shopping. If you have just had surgery, stay the hell at home. Do not come out and endanger yourself along with everyone else. Especially if you are doing the driving.

10. Teenagers. Why can’t we breed our children so that we can extract their hormones when they go out in public. I am tired of love struck teenagers.

11. Whack jobs. Working in a public company means that as long as the front doors are open, everyone and anyone can walk in. And some of those folks are not the most stable, mentally speaking.

12. People who do not understand the concept that departments close in a store. They do not stay open all the freaking time.

13. The stupid reasons that people give for why they have to have what they want after a department closes.

Paintballing by the numbers

A guy I used to work with owned a paint ball store. He, and his partner, sold all kinds of cool paint ball guns, and the accessories that go with them. I bought a really nice spyder from him for my youngest son.

Today though, I am thinking about doing some tactical paintball. Yeah. Take the gun to work and start sniping the folks that piss me off. No head shots. Just a solid chest hit when they do something stupid.

Of course we all know that that wouldn’t fly too well.

Shoot.

No pun intended.

Namaste.

Time to start setting up your blog

In this, the next installment of my blogging tutorial written just for you, we are going to talk about setting up your blog.

Calm down, there is some reading that needs to be done here.

So now you have decided to be a blogger.

You have chosen a host.

And if you are anything like me you have already set up a blog with a name. But we need to talk a little bit about the name of your blog.

As we discussed earlier, people start blogging for different reasons. Some people do it to work through issues. Some people do it because they like doing it, it is fun. And some people blog to make money.

Yeah. Cash. At some point in time everyone looks around and thinks to themselves that wouldn’t it be cool if they could make money blogging. And yeah it is, but there is a science to it. And I am going to be the first one to tell you that I don’t fully understand that science, but the one thing that I do know is that traffic is king when you want to make money blogging.

Before we talk about traffic, let’s talk about the various ways you can make some cash off of your blog.

Adsense. This is a program offered by Google where you sign up, and ads are placed on your site that people click on. This is called Pay Per Click, or PPC. And that is the simple explaination of it. There is a whole science to where the ads should be placed, what colors they should be, etc., etc. Be my guest to do all of that study. There are folks that are making big bucks off of Adsense. And there are folks who aren’t making much from it. What you put into it is what you will get out of it.

Private ads. Once you get a large enough amount of traffic on your blog you might want to consider selling ads to other bloggers. The success of doing this depends on the focus of your blog, though there is a niche out there for everyone not everyone would be willing to advertise on particular blogs. I am establishing a blog that is about composting with worms. Yeah, my Wife says I am crazy too, regardless. I don’t ever see myself selling private ads on that blog, but I do see doing well with Adsense. I also have a blog that reviews the beers that are brewed in Pennsylvania that I will be interested in private ads in about another 6 months when I get my readership up where it needs to be.

Pay Per Post, Social Spark and the like. These are companies who sell advertising to customers who are looking for exposure in blogs. Companies who are looking for traffic to their web sites. This is a great way to pick up a modest amount of money in a relatively short amount of time. And there are a lot of companies out there that do this sort of business.

So there are a few ways that you can make some cash off of your blog, but all of them require one very important thing. Traffic. You need lots, and lots of people coming to your website on a daily basis. So how do you do that?

Let’s talk about the name and the web address of your blog. When you do a search in Google, what do you put in the search line? You put in specifically, or as close as you can get, what it is you are looking for. The more specific you are, the better that chance you have of finding what it is that you are looking for. Right? Ok. The name of your blog, if you want to make some money from it, has to be as close to the subject as it can be. If you are writing about knitting patterns, then the title has to have knitting patterns in it. That will enable the search engines to put you on the front page, or close to the front page on a search for those patterns. Get it? If your title doesn’t have anything to do with knitting patterns, then you won’t ever get noticed. Being not notices equals not being paid. So forget cute names. Be specific to what it is you are writting about.

If you have already paid for a domain that isn’t specific to your subject, don’t worry. Use that domain to send people to where you want them to go. You do this through links in your content, and through your blogroll.

We up to speed here? Play with that stuff for awhile and we will continue later.

namaste.

The next step in starting your blog

Ok, so we have talked about why you want to write a blog, and we have talked about what you might want to write about.

Now the next step is how the heck do you do it, and where can you do it. Let’s get this straight up front. Blogging is not easy. We all think that it would be so cool to write about the things that are going on in our heads. The reality is much different. Why? Because it isn’t easy slowing down your thoughts to the point where you can type them out. It isn’t easy to slow your thoughts down so that you can put them in a readable form. And it isn’t easy sitting down and actually doing all of that typing.

So, if you are like me with a lazy bone, your posts can and will seem few and far between at times.

Regardless. The where is easy. There are a large number of free blog sites. Google has “Blogger”, and there is a wordpress site, and there is a typepad site, and blah, blah, blah, blah. And you can even do what I have done, which is to establish a website of your own hosted by any one of a million web hosts. Blogger and the ones like it are free. Web hosts can cost you some cash. I always suggest to folks starting out to go the free route first. Get into it for awhile and then you can look at what you are doing and figure out if you want to branch out to a hosted site.

Time is what is needed. Time to figure out if this is something that you want to do, and time to save up your pennys.

There you have the “how”. Next time we will talk about setting up your blog.

Namaste.

let me tell you how to start a blog

So, I connected with a friend from high school recently. She was all like, “Dude, what have you been up to?”

And I was all like, “Chiquita, you do not have the time, the energy, and the synaptic responses required for me to go through all that stuff.”

And she was, “Cool, so what can you tell me about blogging?”

And I thought to myself, “Self? I think that instead of just going about this in a vague way, why don’t we specify what someone should do to get into this blogging thing.”

And I know that you are thinking that, MYGOD, pretty much everyone, and anyone has said the same crappola a billion times. Why do I think that I can do it better?

Because I can, Bee-yotches. Sit yerselves down and pay attention.

The first thing you have to do is to figure out why you might want to blog. Do have something unique to add to the world out there? Of course you do. But are you willing to let anyone who wants, read what your unique vision is? And are you willing for them to comment on it?

If you aren’t, then you do not want to blog. Everything put out on the web is there forever. Don’t freak out about , deal with it. If you don’t want someone to read something that could be offensive to them, keep writing in your diaries that you hide in a drawer that you secretly hope that someone will find one day. How much more victorian can you get?

If you decide that you are going to blog, what the heck are you going to blog about? Politics? Your life? A hobby? Whatever. If you are looking to make some money off of a blog you should be looking for something that a whole heck of a lot of people are interested in. In making blog cash, it is all about the traffic. If you are just wanting to vent your spleen, then do so at random. There are a whole lot of us out there.

So, We have covered:

1. Do you really want to blog? Really?

2. What the heck do you want to blog about, already?

Simple questions, that do not have simple answers. When you have your decisions stop by and we will talk about where you can start your blogging adventure.

Namaste.

Spreading the 25 things about me love

I think that I have pretty much maxed out my 25 random things about me prose. But I do like to spread the love back to those who have tapped me.

Check out this series of 25 random things. From a gentleman in the UK, and a fellow Scotsman I have to make sure that you wander over and check him out.

Namaste.

25 is such a random number

Continuing the think up 25 more random things about me is getting a little crazy. I have way more random thoughts and impressions coming to me as I go through my day. You people don’t have the amount of time needed to go through them all.

But let’s talk about these 25 random things about me.

1. I am not a good husband. I know that that is a pretty hard thing to wrap your head around, seeing as how we have known each other for these past seconds, but it is true. I put in a lot of hours at work, and when I am home I am a tired kid. Not that communicative, if you get my drift.

2. So it amazes me that MLW still loves me.

3. So when she expresses interest in something I try to get it for her.

3. Hence my purchasing her a Snuggie. Yes, I broke down and bought MLW a Snuggie. I know, I know. But she was so happy when I told her that I bought it. And when I texted her just a few minutes ago, I could envision her at work doing her happy dance.

4. I still can’t believe that I bought MLW a snuggie.

5. I talk to my dog like she can understand what I am saying. Like she isn’t really hearing “Blah-blah-blah-FOOD-blah-blah-blah-OUTSIDE-blah-blah-.” For instance when came back from the store this morning she came sauntering out of my bedroom. I know that she had been back there snoozing.

6. So there I am explaining to a dog that “you had better be guarding my house when I am not here and not snoozing or else your hairy butt will be on the street.”

7. I talk to the cats too

Ok. That isn’t 25, but it some weirdness for you to chew on.

Namaste.

the sinister side of Chester Cheetah

I keep telling you that there is something sinister about Chester Cheetah for quite some time now.

His style of sidling up to someone and giving them deliciously evil ideas about how to get back at people who wrong them.

I just want it to be known that I have been warning all of you about it and the conspiracy that seems to be going on under the surface.

Just remember that you heard about it from me.

More than 25 things about me.

A whole bunch of folks have been stopping by to read 25 things about me. And that is flattering, but don’t just stop there. Read 25 more things about me just to make it complete.

And in knowing that I wouldn’t be able to stop there how about at least 25 more random things about me?

Now aren’t you happy you stopped by?

Namaste.