Since becoming a medicated American I have been the receipient of some really weird, and vivid dreams. Take for example the one I had last night:
I was taking part in a meeting of my management staff at a restaurant/giftshop/bakery/tourist trap. The building was a converted house and as it turned out it had more than a few surprises and many levels.
The meeting was being chaired by an executive in my company. I can’t remember what it was we were there for, though I do know that at some point we were going to be breaking out and touring the building for some reason. There was another group of people who were sitting next to our group who got into a verbal conflict with our meeting chair. I got up and walked away, ending up in the Bakery area talking to an employee of the Bakery about how they made donuts. She showed me that they used a power drill to mix their donut dough. And then we ended up in the attic that was full of furniture. Antique furniture along with a discussion of the economy of the area and how bad it was that people were trying to support themselves by selling their possessions.
From there I ended up in the basement, that wasn’t the bottom layer of this house either as I remember looking down a flight of stairs seeing yet a lower level to the basement that I was in. Regardless, the area I was in at that time was the restaurant. And there were dogs every where. I mean every where. I sat down in a recliner and a dog jumped on to my lap and would not get off.
And then I woke up.
Tell me that that isn’t wacked out.
Ah, it is that time of year once again where folks gather their dollars together and head out into the malls and shopping venues of the world ready to spend money that they might not really have to spend. All to make themselves feel better, following the siren call of Madison Avenue telling them that they have to spend during this time of year because it is that American Way. Spend, spend, spend.
But my goal here is not to inspect and discuss finances. My goal here is to show you the way not to be an asshat as you are shopping. This should be an easy task, but some of you out there are making it a tad difficult.
Some tips. If you run into friends in the stores, don’t stop in the middle of the aisle to talk about your lives. Move out of the freaking way. There are people who are trying to get by. Kids helping you shop are cute. When everyone has the time to stand and watch your precious one pick your grocery selections, but at holiday time no one has the time to do this. Get moving, will you? If you see someone working in an aisle, such as filling the shelves, don’t try to get as close to them as you possibly can. They will be standing up at some point in time and need a modicum of room to do so. If you are sitting in their back pocket when they do stand you will get moved. And if you do, don’t get all pissy about it, you shouldn’t have been there in the first place.
We keep talking about this, but even though it isn’t necessary to dress for shopping it would be nice if you left your ugly pajama bottoms at home. Along with those ugly slippers.
Just a few tips, I know that there will be more as we go.
Though I am not so sure whether it is writers block, or just not having the same levels of angst/anger/depression that I had prior to the introduction of zoloft to my system. Rather Sertralin, not zoloft. You get the idea.
And then there is the aspect of having our laptop baptized.
Either way, it has been a struggle for me to sit here and not just play FarmVille on FaceCrack. I want to tell you stuff. I want to tell you what it was like to watch my youngest daughter get ready for her first Homecoming dance. The twinge I felt knowing that I never got to see my eldest getting ready for hers. Or that I never got to see my sons leaving for theirs.
I want to tell you about the beer that I am making, and the new process that I am using. I want to tell you about the batch that I muffed and bottled too early, and now I don’t know what it is going to taste like.
I want to tell you about the holiday beers that I have planned, and am really excited about brewing for Christmas, and New Years.
But I think that I have some corn that needs harvesting right now.
Yeah you read it right. There is a myth that has been perpetuated by The Princess that you can douse a laptop and it will still operate as it is supposed to.
Don’t believe it. It doesn’t.