That concerns me.

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Watching afternoon television, you end up watching a bazillion ads for drugs.  And each one of them has this long recitation of possible side-effects.  Listening to the litany of possible maladies brought on by ingesting a particular drug does not make me want to rush out ot my Dr. and beg him to prescribe said drug to me.  I just can’t see myself saying that I am willing to take the chance that I will end up with expolsive poop.  Not me.  Sorry.

via the powerful force that Facebook is, I have befriended Grant Rampy.  Yes, THAT Grant Rampy.  Grant is a syndicated news announcer.  Here in Pennsylvania, we find him most reporting on what is going on in Washington, DC.  And today he made me his friend on Facebook.  That is so cool.

I am currently trying to get a local anchor, Al Gnoza, to make me his friend.  More on that later.

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L8R

You see, when Chester first appeared he was hanging with our kids. Chester was initially always in a situation where he was trying to grab someones cheeto’s and would end up the victim of cartoon violence.

But then in the 2000′s he took a turn towards the dark side. First Chester started showing up in odd places, at odd times convincing people to act out revenge on others with the help of cheeto snacks. Putting cheeto’s in a clothes dryer that had a load of whites in it, while Chester was playing chess with some man. Convincing a woman to stick cheeto’s in a snoring mans nostrils. Messing up a neat freaks cubicle, and when the cubicla resident returned he was talking on the phone and stated that “there has been an incident.”

Conspiracy. It is all a conspiracy, you know. We have heard of the Orange Underground. And who was that man he was playing chess with? And even further, who was the cubicle dweller reporting “an incident” to? It is all leading up to something. Chester started out hanging around our kids, ingratiating himself to them as some bumbling character who wanted cheeto’s but could never get them. And now that our kids have grown up, so has Chester. And not in a good way.

Chester started the 2000′s experimenting in mind control. Convincing, manipulating people to do things that they might otherwise do. And he was very good at it.

And now it has gotten even worse. Chester Cheetah has moved from simple manipulation to experimentation on humans. And Chester Cheetah must be stopped. I am surprised that PETA hasn’t gotten involved with this. In one commercial, as Chester stays safely ensconced behind a glass shield, peoples mouths are fitted for different sizes of cheeto’s. The first is a woman with a HUGE mouth that is deemed not right. The next is a man who has some sort of appliance forcing his mouth open wider than any normal humans should, and he too is deemed lacking. The last one is just right, as the size of the cheeto has been minimized appropriately, and Chester asks “Mr. Lee” to pop open the bubbly so that they can celebrate.

Who is this “Mr. Lee”? Is he the one that chester has played chess with? Is he the one seen sunning himself at the soccer match? Just what is his interest in all of this?

In another commercial, a man in an orange jumpsuit is seen riding a centrifuge as cheeto’s are fired at him. Again, a clear case of human torture to further Chester’s strange, mysterious agenda. Further proof that Chester Cheetah must be stopped. Who knows how much further he will go before the wicked end to his experiments? And just what is he trying to do? Where is the Orange Underground in all of this? Are they freedom fighters, or are they pawns for his wicked game?

Keep tuned for the answers to this and so many other questions.

Now we have the Quiznos Oven talking in their latest commercial. In that smooth, dark voice. The one where someone is lured to mayhem.

You heard it hear first. Quiznos is in league with Chester Cheetah.

His style of sidling up to someone and giving them deliciously evil ideas about how to get back at people who wrong them.

I just want it to be known that I have been warning all of you about it and the conspiracy that seems to be going on under the surface.

Just remember that you heard about it from me.

I discussed it here, and here. And let us not forget this.

Beware, people. Beware.

I mean I have been watching football this afternoon, and have seen an advertisement for the new Dodge Ram until I feel like I am going to run screaming from my home if I see it again.

The premise of the commercial is a race between teams of guys driving the Ram pickup on a series of obstacle courses. There is lots of loud music, and dust, and trucks in the air. Everything that a redneck loves. And the only voice other than the announcer is a couple of guys with heavy texas accents and cowboy hats.

Marketing at its finest.

Of course he next most frequent commercial is for Bud Light. And I think we all know what I feel about commercially produced yellow, fizzy water.

Namaste.