The things in my head go 'round and 'round

I sat on the deck this afternoon with a good cigar, and a good brew and just listened. 

We have a school that is about 50 yards from our yard.  When we bought this house back in 1996 it was one of the selling points.  That along with the fact that we were buying it from family and getting a great deal.  Back then the school house k-5, and that is were The Princess went to 1-4.  When she got into 5th grade the school was closed and she went to another one that is a couple of blocks in the opposite direction. 

Sitting here listening to the leaves, I can also hear the kids coming in from last recess.  I can hear the buzzer, and the buses pulling up getting ready to take them home.  The parents are queing up in the same place that I used to when I picked The Princess up.  The sound of little peoples voices is like a balm.  I love listening to them as they are chattering to one another.  When this was our school, it had a huge family feel to it.  We all knew one another, saw one another at all the functions, and watched out for one anothers kids.  If someone was late, the parents would hang around and let our kids play on the playground until the late parent arrived.  Now that we are years beyond that, I find how much I miss those days. 

I missed those days with my eldest daughter, and even though I had some of that time with my boys, I basically missed those days with my own kids.  I lived them vicariously through The Princess.  I am a flawed Father. 

Anyway.  Live life now.  Don’t look back on it and regret.  Life is to be lived now.

Namaste.

Yeah you read it right.  There is a myth that has been perpetuated by The Princess that you can douse a laptop and it will still operate as it is supposed to.

Don’t believe it.  It doesn’t.

L8R

There is no doubt about it, kids will change your life. And from the moment they enter this world until the day they move out on their own, you and your kids are engaged in a dance of hold them close, and let them go. It is maddening.

All of us parents know the drill. A child is born and needs. Everything. They need to be fed, cleaned up, kept comfortable. They can’t tell us when they are hungry, tired, hurt, happy, nothing. All they can do is coo, and cry. More of the latter than the former. They have to be carried for the first up to 18 months of their lives. And then they hit the ground running.

Talking and walking/running seems to come hand in hand with kids. And this is when things really start to get weird. Once our kids are ambulatory, they are pulling away from us. Testing their boundaries. And we, as the dutiful parents, let them have their freedom. Up to a point. We allow them to get a few bumps and bruises, and try to keep them safe from the rest. I said try, because our kids are still pulling away as we are trying to keep them close.

That is the weird dance I have been talking about. Pulling away, and pulling back. Running as fast as they can, falling, and wanting us to comfort them, then off they go once again. Until they fall, or get scraped, or some such and need us again. Throwing themselves into our arms, and then wriggling free. But admit it, don’t you just love it when they are wanting to get hugged? The smell of your childs hair is intoxicating.

Kids don’t stay kids forever. They have this nasty tendency to grow up. And growing up means that the boundaries are being re-established almost daily. At least that is the way it is for our last child. The Princess is 14 going on 25. Wanting to be involved with everything and anything that doesn’t involve sitting at home with Mom, and Dad. I am her mobile ATM. We are a blended family. I have 3 children that I brought with me into my marriage, and MLW had just had The Princess the year prior to us meeting. My kids are much older than The Princess. I have gone through the teenage pulling away process with all of them. I am not looking forward to it from the last one. Because as our kids hit their mid-teenage years they pull away sharply. They no longer need us to traipse them around. They can drive themselves. They have friends who can drive them around. Parents are in the way. Only needed when the funds are running low. The house is a lot quieter now.

But this article is about letting go of your kids. If we did our job as Parents correctly, we know that at some point we have to let go. They should be confident enough to go out into the word and make their mark upon it. Because that is what we were supposed to do. We were supposed to raise our kids to be confident in their abilities, and to always know that we will always be there for them. That doesn’t make it any easier. A quick hug, and a kiss will never replace the times when they would burrow into your chest. The times when crawling up on your lap would make everything better. I miss those times with my kids, though with the size of a couple of them it would be very uncomfortable for them to try to do it now.

So. Hug them hard every chance you get. When they are young help them up everytime they fall, but don’t ever let them quit trying. And when the time comes, let them go. Because that is what we are supposed to do. 

And that part sucks.

The eldest son has a girlfriend. That is a good thing. We are happy for him. We sometimes feel sorry for her, as he has managed to inheirit my passive aggressive tendencies.

What ev’s.

Yelley is writing a blog about yarn and knitting called It’s peanut butter yelley time.

Yelley also talks about the things that are going on in their life at this time. Included in this is a really funny account of their house hunting. At least I found it funny, though I am sure that the kids didn’t, and don’t. But that is the breaks of looking for a house in an economic downturn. There are tons of property out there to sell, but no one wants to really sell it because they won’t be making a killing from it.

Go figure.

Life is complete when you get to talk to all of your kids in a single day.

That makes life complete.

I have talked about my kids ad nauseum ever since I started blogging. And I don’t see that changing any time soon. But I will admit that I am not the easiest person to talk to, nor are they. The apples fall not far from this tree. So when I hit the trifecta of talking to them all in one day it is time to celebrate.

Two of my spawn are in college while working. The third is living with his GF in California helping to keep our food chain free of harmful chemicals. I can respect that.

And today I got to talk to all of them. Hear their voices and everything. I am happy.

And complete.

Namaste.

All summer long we, MLW and I, talked about how The Princess was going non-stop. That there was no down time for either her, or us with all of her sleep-overs, trips to the shore, trips to Hershey Park, etc., etc.

The reality of it all is is that child is busy ALL FREAKING YEAR LONG. She never stops. And now we are back to the reality of combining school with her busy social calendar.

Last night she was at a sleep-over/birthday party. I picked her up this morning, she is currently snoring in her bedroom so that she will be sufficiently rested for the football game that she won’t be cheering at. She has to sit out because of being absent for another game and practice due to being in Hawaii.

I have this addictive personality. And an impulse control problem.

Not that anyone who I know who also has a Facebook account could tell.

Just because I have become a Facebook stalker.

Sorry.

I promise to try to be just a bit better. But, who wouldn’t want instant access to their kids? They have all blocked me on their cell phones. No one answers when I call. Mostly.

Gotta go. Gotta see what the kids are up to.

namaste.

Do you facebook?

Do your kids shake their heads when you tell them that you do? Are they embarrassed?

Good for you.

I started facebook awhile back. A long while back. I now have 10 friends. After diligent, and arduous ignoring of said Facebook. I am not that good with Facebook.

The youngest son is BIG TIME into his Facebook. I think that he invited everyone he runs into to be a friend. He has over 150 friends. I can’t remember the names of most of my employees, much less 150+ people that I just met.

How the heck do kids do this stuff?

Facebook. Hmpf.

namaste.

It is that time of year again. Back to school. And if you read any of the blogs written by Mom’s, it is a time of bittersweet. Stay at home Mom’s get a breather from being on call 24/7 with their kids.

That is the sweet part. The bitter part is that they no longer are on call. Someone else has their charges for a few hours a day.

And the Mom’s get to spend some childless time thinking about their kids.

The curse of being a parent. When they are with you, all you think about is your kids. When they aren’t with you, all you think about is your kids.

Blah.

As a parent you have 6 years to teach them how to be independent, and play nice. And after that you have X amount of years to teach them how to do all of that and not need you any longer.

Well, not need you quite so much.

Love them kids. Just can’t eat a whole one.

Namaste.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I have been gone for awhile again. Life does that to you.

But in my absence the spammers have tried to break down the doors and take over. I just deleted 25 different spam comments. What a waste of time and effort. On everybodys part. Because you can’t tell me that there is actually someone out there that puts together these spam comments and then hits send. It has to be a spider of some kind doing it. And the other waste of time is me deleting the stupid things. I have a pretty good spam filter, though sometimes crap does get through. If some of these folks would want to advertise on here I would consider it. For a price. Not a big price, mind you, but not for free.

Free is mine.

The youngest son was here for a few days, and left on Friday. My eldest daughter and the youngest son have this rivalry of sorts going on as to who is the favorite child. The eldest son doesn’t get into it as he knows that he is his Mothers favorite. How does he know? She has told him. And everybody else. Which is pretty creepy for the youngest son.

But for me? My favorite is….every stinking one of them. Each one is special to me in their own particular, and peculiar way. And that is the way it is now, and the way that it will always believe.

So, Raven. You can believe what you want. That is up to you, but there is no difference between you, Pierce, and Cali-boy. Except Cali-boy is waaayyy more passive aggressive than any of you, hands down.

Gotta scoot.

Namaste.