The things in my head go 'round and 'round

Today I bottled a batch of beer that should have turned out like an American Amber, but actually turned out quite a bit differently than what was expected.  Hit the highlighted areas and you can read about it.  I won’t waste your time now talking about it.

Though I was pleasantly surprised at the outcome, this could be another beer in our growing catalog.  Depending, of course, on how it tastes after conditioning in the bottle over the next couple of weeks.

Anyhooooo.  I have talked before about my neighbor the “Leaf Nazi“, and how one of our trees had it out for her.  Well today said tree gave it up and dropped its leaves.  And I, being the good homeowner I am, went out with my trusty leaf blower to get the leaves out to the curb.

And it worked wonderfully up until right after I finished with the leaves, and was putting the blower away.  This huge gust of wind came along and blew pretty much all of the leaves back into the yard. 

Stupid wind.  Now I have to do it all over again.

Maybe.

L8R

I used to have a Leaf Nazi.  Specifically, I used to live next to a Leaf Nazi.  Her and her husband were renting the house next to ours.  She was a nice enough person.  As long as you didn’t talk to her too much, or look directly at her.

Our Leaf Nazi had a particular trait.  She liked her driveway, and walkways to be completely cleaned of any debris.  Sweeping was her compulsion.  Constant sweeping.  Morning and evening.  And one of our trees loved making her crazy.

yes, I said one of our trees loved making her crazy.  Now, we humans anthropomorphize everything.  We do it with our pets, some of us do it with plants, you get the idea.  I swear that this tree had it in for our Leaf Nazi.  Why?  Because this particular tree would hold onto its leaves way past when all the rest of the trees on the block had dumped theirs.  This tree has been here since the house was built back in the early 50′s.  It has been around the block, so to speak.  I don’t know why the tree did what it did with its leaves, but I do know that it would drop some leaves each day.  The Leaf Nazi would come out of her house, grumbling all the way.  She would then sweep them off of the drive and go back into the house.  And the next day, the tree would drop some more.

I think that the tree is missing the Leaf Nazi becuase today I was out raking the lawn where “raking the lawn” means I was running the mower over the leaves so that I could empty the bag on the compost pile.  And the tree has 90% of its leaves still on.  Waiting.  Waiting for the Leaf Nazi.

Who no longer lives next door.

Crazy.

I miss the leaf nazi.

We had some neighbors who had a different take on lawn care than what I do. Their take on it was the wife would sweep their sidewalks and driveway every day. Let me repeat that. EVERY DAY. The husband would mow his yard, and the neighbors next to him, and the neighbors NEXT TO THEM, and the woman across the streets every week. He would mow 4 yards every week.

For some of you that doesn’t seem excessive. For me, it is on the brink of obsessive, because I figure that if you can still see your dog when she goes into the yard the grass is fine.

Back to the neighbors wife and her sweeping. Fall was a really bad time of year for her, as we have a tree that drops leaves on their yard. A lot of leaves. And they don’t all come down at the same time. The tree is rather sadistic like me. It releases a clump of leaves, waits a couple of days, releasese a few more, and then holds on to a bunch into the depths of winter.

I love that tree.

So imagine my dismay when I saw a “For Sale” sign in the yard of my neighbors yard. No more watching the wife do her freaky “Gotta sweep the Driveway” dance. Shoot.

The house sold to a young couple. And today as I was sitting here at my computer the familiar sound of a leaf blower entered the house. EUREKA!! We have another nazi! Maybe not to the extent that we had it before, but we have someone to devil with our leaves. Life is good.

Namaste.

The things in my head:

If you continue to ride my ass as I drive down this road, I might just have to hit my brakes. Your ultimately newer SUV will not look that good with the bed of my 12 year old truck protruding from your grill.

I am going 10 mph over the speed limit. Get off of my ass.

Peanut butter no bake cookies are a gift from Yaweh.

I have a neighbor who is a lawn mowing maniac. He not only mows his. He mows his neighbor on the other side of him, along with the neighbor on the other side of THEM, and two lawns across the street. And I just finished harvesting the hay in my front yard. He came home, saw my freshly mown lawn, and just about killed himself galloping out to his shed to get his mower out. Not to be outdone.

His wife has this thing about sweeping their driveway.

Namaste.

that colds this time of year suck ass, haven’t I?

I am pretty sure that I have. The post nasal drip. The coughing. The dripping of crap out of my nose.

I am not amused.

And it is still raining out. My front lawn looks like the field from the opening scenes from “Little House on the Prairie”. And my neighbor was out mowing the four lawns that he mows. Last night. First he does his. Then he does the one on the other side of his, and then the one next to that, and the 2 across the street.

No, wait. That is 5 lawns that he mows. Idiot. With too much time on his hands.

Namaste.