The things in my head go ’round and ’round

I have been getting hit with a tremendous amount of spam comments lately. Wonder why? A good portion of them have to do with buying car insurance. Are any of you having trouble finding good, reasonably priced car insurance? Don’t you watch television?

Here in Pennsylvania every other commercial on television has to do with car insurance. And the one just before has to do with insurance fraud. And then the commercial AFTER the car insurance one is about erectile dysfunction. Seems that here in Pennsylvania we have a concern with people ripping off the insurance companies, finding good and affordable car insurance, and then being able to perform as needed when “the time is right”.

This is what is making me crazy today.

namaste.

The Princess entered a contest.

Let’s start at the beginning. The Princess likes “The Jonas Brothers”. Really likes them. Sings their songs all of the time, likes them. Reads everything, and anything about them, likes them.

She lives, and breathes everything “Jonas”.

The Jo Bros.

The Jo Bros with their Jo Bro ‘Fros.

So she is going to a Jo Bro concert in Scranton on August 1. During the process of ordering tickets, she also joined “Team Jonas”, which is the Jonas Brothers Fan Club. Being a member of this club entitles her to getting inside info about the JoBros. And notification of upcoming JoBro functions, such as “meet and greets” at concerts and such.

We have been plagued the past couple of days with The Princess asking every few minutes if The JoBros have called. She wants to meet and greet in the worst way.

The Jo Bros. Nick, Joe, and Kevin Jonas. They also have a little brother named Frankie. Whose nick(not Jonas)name is “Frank the Tank”. Also known as the Bonus Jonas. Or Bo Jo for those in the “In”. And he could also be known as the Bo Bro. Or the Bo Jo Bro.

Too bad that they don’t live in Monroe. Or Idaho.

So I have been stringing Jo Bro words together to make The Princess crazy.

Such as “The JoBro’s haven’t called because they are in the Dojo, playing Solo, on The Dobro, and they can’t invite No Mo Kiddo’s.

Aren’t I clever? I will add more as I think of them. Right now with The Princess reading over my shoulder that is all I can come up with.

Fo’ Sho.

Namaste.

Update: They still have not called. I am slowly being driven insane by the continual questioning of my youngest daughter as to whether or not the Jo Bro’s with their Jo Bro ‘Fros, and their Jo Hawk haircuts have called us to let us know that The Princess is invited to their “meet and greet” in Scranton.

I pray to God that they invite her. This is her 13th birthday, and she is driving the family slowly to the brink of madness.

Please, Jo Bro’s. Call us. I beg of you.

Namaste.

Well, not really the weekend but it is the only two days off in a row that I am going to see before I go on vacation.

Which is in TWO WEEKS!!!!

I would like to say that I can’t wait, but the reality is that I have to wait. Because the time off starts in two weeks, not today. Unless, of course, I fake some crazy illness and take the next two weeks off from work.

Speaking of a crazy illness. Those of us who have been paying attention have known that I had an allergic reaction to poison ivy. Did the whole ER thing, got the steroids, got the benedryl, got the shakes and the mood swings. For those who weren’t paying attention, specifically the people that I work with, I did not get an infection from a tattoo. Idiots.

The people I work with seem to be some of the most un-trusting folks that you can come across. I had to leave work early on Friday due to my leg swelling up. The patch of poison ivy on the back of my leg had soaked 3 sets of bandages through with lymph that my body was making to try and deal with the poison ivy. One of my co-workers thought that it would be a neat thing to do to start a rumor that I had an infection due to a bad tat. Then when I went into work on Saturday I had to show my boss my leg to prove to him that I did indeed have poison ivy.

This is the first time in 28 years of work that I have had to prove my illness to a boss. Just makes you all warm and fuzzy inside, now doesn’t it? Paranoid people make me crazy.

With that being said, I am going to go enjoy the day. MLW, The Princess and I are going to see a movie today. Something we haven’t done as a family in forever.

L8R

Most likely, seeing as Apple has trademarked the Ipod for their own use. I wonder if I should trademark “Mypod”?

It makes me crazy to have people call vegetables “veggies”. They aren’t “veggies”, they are vegetables. Calling vegetables by some cutesy, stupid name does not make them all the more palatable. It makes you look ignorant. After all, cut up vegetables are only a vehicle to get as much of the vegetable dip into your gaping maw. Calling them “veggies”, and the dip “veggie dip” does nothing to negate the fact that you have just consumed as many calories as a Third World country.

Today is JUBILEE DAY!! JUBILEE DAY IS HERE!!!

I will post pictures later on this afternoon/evening. Promise. You will like them. You should be here.

Just stay out of my parking space.

Namaste.

Let us talk retail.

Yeah. I think that it is time.

When you look at a grocery store what do you see? Four walls that hold all of the things you like to eat, or someplace where you can act like and idiot and get away with it?

Hmmm?

A grocery store is just a larger version of your refrigerator. Keep that in mind as we talk.

A grocery store is layed out so that the perimeter is where you are going to spend the most amount of money. Get used to that fact, it doesn’t change. I want you to make some forays into the center of the “box”, but I don’t want you to spend a lot of time there. I want you to spend about 55 -65% of your time there. I want the rest along the perimeter. Because that is where I make the most money.

The center of a store is cans, and boxes. They don’t need refrigeration. The perimeter is produce, meat, deli, seafood, and dairy. They need refrigeration. Hence the refrigerator analogy.

Yesterday my store had a power outage. No power. But we had lights, and we could run the cash registers. Why? How? Because we have a generator. And we need that generator to run the computers so that we don’t lose the information that they have in them. We do not, and most retailers do not, have a generator that will run the refrigeration. That generator would be too huge, and expensive. The one we have just for the lights, and computers is the size of a 400 cubic inch v-8 engine. Like from a cadillac. Go open the hood on your grandfathers car and you will get the idea.

So. Having lights tends to confuse people. They think that even though I am putting plastic over the meat, and the dairy, and every other refrigerated case, that they can push me out of the way to get what it is that they want.

Not so.

Everytime you open a door to a refrigerated case, and the power is not on, you are losing cold air. Cold air that won’t be replaced. BECAUSE THE POWER IS NOT ON YOU IDIOT!!!

Maybe the next time YOUR power goes out, I can come to your house and stand in front of your refrigerator with the door open. Think that you might like that?

And when I tell you that the power is out, don’t act like you haven’t been hearing the announcements that we have been making for THE PAST 30 MINUTES, YOU IDIOT!! It just makes you look silly. Especially when you ask what is going on, all I do is smile, and point to the ceiling where yet another annoucement is taking place telling you that we are sorry but due to losing power we ask that you not open the freezer doors.

Let’s recap. Power on…all of the lights on, and no plastic on the dairy, meat, seafood, and produce cases. Power off…not all of the lights are no, someone is making an announcement about the power being off, and keep your mitts off of my freezer doors.

Thanks. Glad we straightened that one out.

Namaste.