The things in my head go 'round and 'round

I have never been rich, and though I do like to dream about it I somewhat doubt that I ever will be.  Monetarily, that is.  ‘Cause if you measure wealth in the people you know and associate with, Bill Gates got nothing on me.

I am typing this on a lap top that was recommended to me by the friend of a friend.  I got it at a steal.  The friend and his friend are technological wizards.  Veritable genius’s of the highest sort when it comes to computers and such.  Both are highly trained and when I need something, if one can’t do it the other can.

I have a friend who is a genius when it comes to cars.  Anything that moves, to be honest.   The reason that I am able to drive a 15 year old vehicle is because he keeps it running for me.  And without screwing me over on the price.  He tells me what the truck needs, and then takes care of it.  Sometimes he has worked for a case of my homebrew.  This guy is the one I am going to set up in his own garage when I hit the lotto.  He will be my personal mechanic in his own business.

I have a friend who can work on stereo’s, and home entertainment systems.  He is also the one who has introduced me to the world of cigars.  Much to MLW’s displeasure.

I have a friend who works on my lawnmower when it needs TLC.  Or to be honest, when I muck it up so badly I need to have someone who knows what they are doing fix it.  He, again, tells me what it needs, fixes it and doesn’t charge me an arm and a leg.

I have a friend who brews beer like I do.  He and I share recipes, and talk about what went right and trouble shoot what went wrong.

I have a friend, who I met through MLW, who was a professional musician.  The Princess’ biological Father  used to beat up Brett Michaels when he was known as Bret Sychak.

I am rich beyond belief when it comes to the people I can call friend.  And I need to remind myself of this on those days when I am bitching and moaning about not having enough money.  Because money ain’t all it is cracked up to be.

L8R

Have the day off today.  And the weather is pretty beautiful right now.  Indian Summer hot, but dry so that I don’t wilt when I go out.  And I have only gone out a couple of times today, because I have the day off.  Didn’t I mention that?

Went and refilled my Sertralin this morning.  Amazing how taking your meds on a regular basis takes care of a large part of the angst in your life.  I am finding it harder to write now that I am taking it also.  Guess to be an artist you have to struggle with your demons just a bit more than what I am doing now.

Any hooo….  making leftovers for dinner, and a couple of beers afterwards.  Life is pretty good right now.

namaste.

Today I mowed the lawn. 

For some, that isn’t a big deal.  For me it has been because on my days off for the past 3 months I have not wanted to do anything but sit on the couch.  And today I mowed the lawn.

That is a huge step forward.  I met with my Doctor the other day and he prescribed a zoloft generic for me called Sertraline.  I have only been taking it for a few days but already I am feeling some of the side effects.  Sweating being the first one.  I am a big guy, and so I sweat all of the time, but not like this.  This sweating is copious.  Hopefully it will go away as the meds get through my system.  The second side effect that I am having is a nervousness.  Just a tinge of a wired up feeling shortly after taking my pill. 

Now I just have to walk the dog.

I should be going to the gym.

I should be clicker training the dog.

I should be writing articles for submission.

I should be weeding the garden.

I should be cleaning off the carport.

I should be mowing the lawn.

I should be getting the parts of my mash tun.

But the neighborhood is quiet.  Almost as quiet as it is on Sunday afternoons.  And I can’t break myself away from the sound of this exquisite silence.

I love sundays in small towns. It is quiet.

Monday through Friday in any town is noisy. People coming and going. From work, to work, to the store, to wherever. Hurry, hurry. Motion, moving, go, go, go.

But Sunday is quiet. And that is what I love of a small town. You can always tell Sunday. It is quiet.

That is what I love.

namaste.

I have been doing a lot of nothing lately. And the title lines continue to go through my head. They are from a song by “Toad the Wet Sprocket.” The song is “Something’s always wrong.”

I started this blog a little over a year ago just as a place to archive the crap that goes on in my head. It was a lark, an amusement. And then Flo-rida decided to sample that damned Dead or Alive song from the 80′s. Now I am getting hits from people looking for that stinking song, and nothing else. Thanks Flor-ida.

Anyway. I have been writing back and forth with people I graduated with and have had to tell them what I have been through over the past 30 odd years that we have been out of High School. Lots of memories that had been hidden have resurfaced. I have had to talk about the things that have lead me to being the person that I am now. I don’t know that I really like that, but I do understand that it all had to be done. Our lives always bring us back to those things that we need to clean up. Funny how it does that isn’t it?

On Facebook there is this little phenomenon going on where you reveal 25 things about yourself that your friends might not know. Thought that I would share them with you also.

Feel special?

1. I am not as confidant as I like to seem. I am riddled by doubt that I hide by bravado.

2. I really thing that Chester Cheetah is up to something not good.

3. There is a writer in my that is just waiting to get out. I know it. I can feel it.

4. Or maybe it is just gas.

5. I have been making beer for the past few years, but I find that I give more of it away than I drink.

6. Making beer has turned me into a beer snob.

7. I find it amusing that I consider myself a snob at all.

8. I miss my sons, and eldest daughter every day.

9. I am not happy that my youngest daughter is pulling away, now that she has become a teenager.

10. I wouldn’t have it any other way.

11. I constantly think about the things that I have done in my life, and wonder “what if”.

12. I strive to be someone my kids can look up to.

13. I have been accused of being the “good-time Dad”, the one that lets the kids get away with murder. In actuality, I just like having fun with my kids. I can discipline them later.

14. I would be happiest with my kids living within a mile radius of me.

15. My kids would hate it.

16. I hate doing these kind of things because I censor everything so that I don’t seem so weird.

17. I am really weird.

18. Blogging is great fun when you have squirrels running around in your head yelling out random statements.

19. I think that I should have censored that.

20. Am I done yet?

21. I want to play guitar as well as Glenn Elliot.

22. Hell, I want to play guitar WITH Glenn Elliot. And not make a fool of myself.

23. Along those lines, I find it amusing that none of my biological children have the voice that my step-daughter does.

24. I loved being the backup band when The Princess was in elementary school.

25. I am now done.

You folks are a fickle lot.

In October and November when I was writing, and reporting on Michigan Proposal 1, whether to make Medical marijuana legal or not in Michigan, you were flocking here in droves.

And I know that a lot of that had to do with where I was ranking on the search engines. But I thought some of you would stick around.

Now that I am watching what is happening with the auto industry in Michigan I am finding much less interest. That is concerning, as much as it is amusing.

Concerning in that I hope that there is not an apathy as to the health or the demise of the auto makers in Detroit. If they go under there will be up to 3 million folks in the unemployment lines. And those lines can’t hold too many more.

Amusing in that, well. Just follow the train on thought.

So stick around kids. We will have fun along with the real stuff. I promise.

namaste.

Especially Sunday mornings when I don’t have to work. I get to sleep in, which means that I still wake up around 6am and eventually get up around 7.

There is just something about not having to get out of bed when the alarm goes off. It just makes life that much sweeter.

Then a cup of fresh ground, fresh brewed coffee. Boot up the computer, check my sites, and write a couple of posts myself.

Life is good.

And I don’t know why Sunday is so different from any other morning.

It just is.

And I love it.

namaste.

There you have it.  My Christmas gift to you.  The only one that will never wear out, or go out of style.

Whatever you do, don’t give up.

As my family well knows, I have my highs, and my lows.  And that is putting it mildly.  The highs are full of activity and grand ideas.  The lows are full of sulking, and silence.  I am either the life of the party, or the one in the corner dressed in black not talking to anyone.

Sorry people I love.  Just haven’t gotten the brain chemistry right as of yet.

Right now, being in a middle period, I am doing a lot of thinking of success.  What it means to me.  What I have, and what I don’t.  And whether or not all of that makes a difference.

And I keep coming back to the title of this little bit of rambling.

Don’t ever give up.  No matter what, because there is no real success or failure.  Everything happens the way that it is supposed to.

Say what?  Am I being real here?

You have better damned well believe it.  Here is an example.  I am making banana bread.  If I don’t add a particular ingredient, will it be ruined?  Or as they say here in Pennsylvania, ruin’t?  The answer depends on your perception.  If you look at the situation without emotion, the end product is a result of the process used to produce it.  The bread turns out the way it is supposed to because of what I put into it.

Wrap your head around that one for a minute.

I am also bottling beer today.  If I don’t put priming sugar in the wort before I bottle it, there will be no carbonation.  It will be flat.  And exactly the way it is supposed to be since I didn’t put priming sugar into it.  Process.  It is all about process.  What you put in to something is what you get out of it.  So there really is not success or failure, there is only your interpretation of the results.

Wow.  That makes my head hurt.

Remember that all through this part of the year when we are rushing around, and not really paying attention to what is going on around us.  You can spend all of your time not paying attention to anything, or you can be in the now.

So what does this have to do with succcess or failure?  I have my ideas, but let’s hear some of yours.

My family and I wish you and yours a safe, and sane holiday season.  And beyond that, we wish you and yours peace, prosperity, health, and love.

Namaste.