This is The Roxinator.  Much acclaimed Zombie Huntress.  And a horrible traveling companion.

With the knowledge that North Carolina was not going to travel to me

the decision was made that we….Roxie and I…would travel to North Carolina.  So we loaded up the car with all of our necessities and headed south.  And even though I had the back seat set up as a huge bed for her, she spent the first hour pacing back and forth whining.

We stopped for gas after a few hours and I picked up up some chicken nuggets to share.  The car was parked….we were having a nice conversation.  Not a whole lot of give and take, but hey…she is a dog…she doesn’t usually have much to add to the conversation other than she is a good listener.

Me, on the other hand, I tend to use my hands when I am talking.  Gesticulating when I am making a point….and we were down to the last nugget.  Which was supposed to be mine, by the way…..and I must have gotten it just s smidge too close to her snout when out of her mouth comes this amazingly long serpentine tongue.  And snatches MY FREAKING NUGGET!!!

I mean, where the hell did that tongue come from?  It was the size of a python, and as quick as the wind.  AND SHE FREAKING WELL ATE THE LAST NUGGET.

So for me to say that we shared a 10-pc nugget would be a lie.  As there was no sharing when she snatched the last one from my hand.

Yes, I am bitter.  Damned dog.