I first noticed your erratic driving when you ran off the road as you were following me. I then watched you drift into the left lane narrowly missing a van that was passing you. I thought for sure that I would be ok as long as I kept you behind me.

Or so I thought.

When traffic started to slow down, you almost rear-ended me. You had to jam on your brakes at the last minute…resulting in you locking up your wheels. I pulled over to the side of the road and let you pass me.

I noticed a number of people using their cell phones as I merged back onto the highway. I was hoping that they were calling the police to report your driving.

I didn’t.

I just wanted to keep you in front of me. Which I did. Until we got into Pensacola. Then somehow you got behind me again. How did I know that?

You rear-ended me at a stop light.

I had just come to a stop, and looked into my rear-view and there you were.

Barreling towards me.

I knew you weren’t going to be able to stop. I braced for the impact.

You hit the rear of my car pushing it forward a few feet.

I got out of the car yelling at you.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?”

“Are you drunk, or just stupid?”

A guy who was behind our two vehicles got out of his car and got between us. He didn’t touch me, but walked me away from you repeating, “Don’t hit him. Whatever you do, don’t hit him.”

The police arrived a few minutes later.

They had had multiple reports on your erratic driving.

They searched your vehicle. They did a field sobriety test.

I got the case number and asked if I were ok by the officers.

You maintained that you weren’t drunk, just very tired from driving overnight.

You are an ass. You have no respect for the safety of yourself, much less anyone else. I can guarantee that you are going to get behind the wheel of your big-assed pickup again in an impaired state and hit someone else.

Why do I say this?

Because people like you always do.

Gee thanks, asshole.