See that picture?

I want that to be my reality. I really, really do.

But it isn’t. That picture was never my reality, though my reality was pretty close to it many years ago.

The last really great holiday be it Thanksgiving, or Christmas was in 1983. The year my eldest daughter was born.

Not to say that I didn’t have fun holiday gatherings in the the years after…it is that for some reason I don’t remember any of the rest. Most of them spent with in-laws instead of my family.

I want to be happy, and joyous about the holidays. I really do. I do not like that I am cynical, sarcastic, and jaded about them….despite my many years in retail. I would love to be the home that has an open house for friends and family….but it seems that I have run away from friends and family over the years.

Imagine that.

Desiring what you have denied yourself through your own decisions.

And people think that I have issues……..

For you lucky bastards who will have family and friends around your dining table….enjoy it. Drink it in. Revel in it.

The love you take is always equal to the love you make.