I had given up.

Wait. That is way too dramatic. I hadn’t give up, I had just decided that I no longer had the energy for a relationship. Meeting people and dating is just way too hard these days.

The endless amount of recapping your previous life. Talking about kids, ex’s, work, your intentions, and what your goals are. It is just beyond what energy reserves I have.

And that nagging need doesn’t go away. The need to have a partner. Someone to share with. Someone to be open and vulnerable with. To love, and to be loved in return. The need wrestles with your emotional exhaustion. There is always the option to settle. To take the best of the worst.

Or you decide to be alone.

Which I had decided. To live my life true to myself, by myself.

I truly believe that that decision is what opened me up to possibility. By accepting what I thought was the inevitable, I was set free.

Now you would expect that I will wax poetic about how my heart soars in the sunlight. Sorry, kids. But I will tell you this. I see color again. Where before it was all shades of black and white, there is color. There is hope. There is an excitement. Looking forward to what is coming. All because of the addition of one person. A person with whom I have been friends with for years. Someone I know is an amazingly good, honest, loving person.

And so…..it continues…..life and its strange, wonderful turns.