This one should be fun to write….
It is not a passive/aggressive shout for help. And please don’t spoil the vibe of this by thinking so little of me….
That all being said….shall we begin?
I am a reasonably intelligent adult. I lead an uneventful life. No risk-taking behaviors. Not careless, belligerent, mean, or ugly.
By all measures I should have no need to fear anything.
Oh, but I do.
I don’t know when it is going to happen. I don’t know what it triggers it. All I know is that my pituitary dumps a shit load of adrenaline into my system and my vision narrows. My heart rate jumps, my breathing shallows, and I start looking for an exit.
I could be sitting on the couch. Reading a book. The other day it happened when I was talking to a group of co-workers. Just one of those workplace conversations where everyone is bitching about the lack of tips……and boom.
Fear.
Fear of what is rationally not there. Fear of a possibility, not even a guaranteed probability, A phantom.
I was watching a tv program the other day and one of the characters was a kid. Dressed up as Batman. He was going out Trick or Treating for the first time without his Mom….with just his friends…..and he was feeling a little …… iffy…..
One of his friends told him to suck it up. That he is Batman. And Batman is afraid of not a fucking thing.
Well folks, I am not Batman.