Sometimes being a parent sucks.  Really, really sucks.  And it is usually when your kids get to that age when you have to rely on them to do what is right.  To be safe.  And for you to understand that they are going to do what they want to do, and you can’t put them in time out, or punish them when what they do goes horribly, horribly wrong.

It sucks that at those times all you can do is be there.  Be a shoulder to cry on, someone to help them pick up the pieces.  Or, even worse, not help them at all.  Because sometimes your kids have to pick up their own pieces.  And those are the times when as a parent you feel absolutely useless.

I have a child who is struggling with substance abuse.  This isn’t my fight, but it IS my fight.  I would move mountains to help her with this fight.  But I can’t follow her throughout her day.  I can’t be there when she feels that she wants to….HAS to have a drink.  All I can do is be there when she calls.  If she calls.  Or texts me.  If she texts.  I can only answer the questions from the hospital staff, or the police if she is picked up again and taken to the hospital.  And only if I get the call.

My kid is sick and I can do nothing.  When she was younger she was severely asthmatic.  When she had an attack, I could give her a treatment.  As she got older the attacks came more infrequently, but if I heard that she was short of breath I could remind her to hit her inhaler.  I can’t read her mind.  How can I tell her not to drink, if I don’t know when she is thinking that she wants to…NEEDS to take a drink.  I have to depend on her to make the right decision.  And all I can do is be here when she needs me to talk to.  Or to pick her up when she falls.

Parenting sucks.