There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed.

So said Ernest Hemingway.

Writing is a socially acceptable form of schizophrenia.

E. L. Doctrow.

I could go on for the total number of 500. But that isn’t what this is about. What this is about is that I have been feeling stuck and stale as of late. I have these things I want to tell you, observations that I have made that I want to share. Yet, the words struggle, rip, and tear at one another trying to get out of my head so that they can end up on this screen.

Or your screen, hopefully.

And there. I have written my first 100 words for today. Only 400 more to go.

This is going swimmingly.

The other day I was in a store. Standing in line like a good consumer, waiting my turn at the register. Like one of a herd of cows watching a passing train.

And it struck me that a good portion of people who get up to the cash register have a look on their face like they are thinking, “Oh crap. How did I get here? What do I do now?”

They look like they are thinking if they are quiet, and make no sudden movements that no one will notice them.

You know, sort of like those times when you hung out with your Botanical Society friends before class. You figured that if you got to your seat, stayed quiet, and didn’t draw attention to yourself that life would just be fine and dandy.

But then, somehow those were the days when you teacher decided to spring a pop quiz on the class. As if he/she KNEW you were in an altered state of consciousness, and just HAD to mess you with.

But then again, that is just what I hear. I would have never done anything like that. Driving around Webster Hills.

500 words is a lot of words.

I live in a rented house. Nothing really cool about, lots of people do it. The management company that we rent from has this long list of things that we are supposed to do as our part in making sure the property is well maintained and all.

Prissy bastards.

Anyway. One of the requirements is to pour 1/2 a cup of bleach into a drain line for the air conditioning unit. Basically to keep the condensation line free of scum. And they have a video posted on their website showing what do to. I decided tonight that I needed to take care of that little task. So I followed the directions provided.

And the unit shut down. Had to call their 24 hour emergency line and get some poor tech to leave his family, come to my house just to tell me that the instructions the management company gave were wrong. That my following the directions they gave, insured that the unit was going to shut down.

Go figure. My actually following instructions for once resulted in something bad happening. Usually it is the other way around.

Late birthday present. Thanks, Karma.