The things in my head go ’round and ’round

I make the bestest crabby patties that there are out there. Just ask me, and I will tell you.
Really. Phillips crab meat, and crab mix, then broil them for 5 minutes each side. Serve either by themselves, or put them on an onion roll and enjoy.

MMMMMMM.

Sounds good just reading about it, doesn’t it? You can be jealous, it is ok.

I also make some mean tacos.

We had a bunch of food this week. A bunch of food. I will be rolling home next to the van on Saturday. And then the cut back on intake will begin yet again.

As we start our planning for next years vacation to the beach. We didn’t think that we would be coming back next year, but I got talking to a friend who mentioned that he and his wife would like to come down. I suggested we go in on a house, he thought that that was a good idea. Now we just have to get our wives on the same page, we are all set.

And I will do whatever I need to do to be able to come to the shore for vacation. And to The Flying Pig. Can’t forget The Flying Pig. Especially since they will be having to expand due to my promotion, and due to you, fair readers, as you journey down to the North Carolina coast for vacation.

Namaste.

2004.

February.

Do you remember where you were? I was watching The Super Bowl with the fam. We had my FIL over; MLW was there, along with The Princess.

Super Bowl is a good time for us. I wrote about The Boys and I running all over Columbus trying to find foam rubber big enough for us to make cheese heads out of back in ’97. That is the kind of party that we tend to have. Family, and food. My life.

But 2004 was a bit different. Because Janet Jackson, and Justin Timberlake were going to be performing during half-time. And towards the end of one of the songs Janet flashed us a shot of her boob. Well, we were told that it was “costume malfunction”. Big deal. Don’t care what you call it.

Janet shot us some boob.

And the furor began. Wringing of hands, gnashing of teeth, beating of breasts. Just not Janet’s. And then the apologies began. I am sorry. I am sorry. I am sorry.

Yada, yada, yada. After the apologies, the lawsuits began. The FCC sued CBS, and they sued someone, and they sued someone, and they sued someone. Then the appeals began. The only people who really cared at this time were the lawyers. They were making a killing off of Janet flashing us some nipple.

And I wish to this day that I would have actually SEEN it. It happened so quickly, that unless you had supersonic vision, you didn’t see jack. Well, Janet, but you get the idea.

Thanks to video/TiVo and of course the internet though, everyone could check it out. And they did. And that is where the indignation came in. See the above wringing of hands, etc, etc, etc. The interesting part is that you had to search for the boob. It wasn’t hanging out for minutes. The boob in question was only in view for a second. How the heck could you see that, have it register in your brain, and then enjoy it or conversely be offended by it? You couldn’t.

But WE ARE STILL TALKING ABOUT IT. FOUR YEARS LATER. Sheesh.

Don’t get me wrong. I like breasts. Really like them. And even though Janet Jackson has a some nice breasts, they are no longer front page news. Let’s get over our feigned outrage and move on to more important subjects.

Please.

Namaste.

The Princess entered a contest.

Let’s start at the beginning. The Princess likes “The Jonas Brothers”. Really likes them. Sings their songs all of the time, likes them. Reads everything, and anything about them, likes them.

She lives, and breathes everything “Jonas”.

The Jo Bros.

The Jo Bros with their Jo Bro ‘Fros.

So she is going to a Jo Bro concert in Scranton on August 1. During the process of ordering tickets, she also joined “Team Jonas”, which is the Jonas Brothers Fan Club. Being a member of this club entitles her to getting inside info about the JoBros. And notification of upcoming JoBro functions, such as “meet and greets” at concerts and such.

We have been plagued the past couple of days with The Princess asking every few minutes if The JoBros have called. She wants to meet and greet in the worst way.

The Jo Bros. Nick, Joe, and Kevin Jonas. They also have a little brother named Frankie. Whose nick(not Jonas)name is “Frank the Tank”. Also known as the Bonus Jonas. Or Bo Jo for those in the “In”. And he could also be known as the Bo Bro. Or the Bo Jo Bro.

Too bad that they don’t live in Monroe. Or Idaho.

So I have been stringing Jo Bro words together to make The Princess crazy.

Such as “The JoBro’s haven’t called because they are in the Dojo, playing Solo, on The Dobro, and they can’t invite No Mo Kiddo’s.

Aren’t I clever? I will add more as I think of them. Right now with The Princess reading over my shoulder that is all I can come up with.

Fo’ Sho.

Namaste.

Update: They still have not called. I am slowly being driven insane by the continual questioning of my youngest daughter as to whether or not the Jo Bro’s with their Jo Bro ‘Fros, and their Jo Hawk haircuts have called us to let us know that The Princess is invited to their “meet and greet” in Scranton.

I pray to God that they invite her. This is her 13th birthday, and she is driving the family slowly to the brink of madness.

Please, Jo Bro’s. Call us. I beg of you.

Namaste.

Go away on vacation, and you immediately stop reading what is going on here. I told you that I would be away until I found a reliable WiFi on Oak Island.

Sheesh.

Anyway, here is what has been going on:

There are a couple of things that you should just not do to make your life that much easier. Well, actually, there are a lot of things that you just shouldn’t do, but lets talk about a couple of simple things that, on a first glance, look like they are no big deal.

You should never talk smack to a Police Officer who just pulled you over. And you should definitely not talk smack to a Police Officer when you are being stopped at a Sobriety Check Point.

Not that I have done either. I am more of the “Yes, Sir.”, “No, Sir.” Variety when it comes to talking to an Officer. Always hoping for the no ticket situation. But a couple of weeks ago I did get the opportunity to participate in a Sobriety Check Point and did see 2 cars in front of me, and one car in back pulled to the side so that they could do the “Just How Drunk Are You” two-step.

I have been calling things the “Whatever” two-step lately. That and the “Dosey-Do”. I don’t know why, but I have and it is making The Princess crazy. With her being 13 now, EVERYTHING that I do makes her crazy. Makes life simple for me. I don’t have to worry about what I do, because no matter what I do it is wrong.

Cool.

Next item. Don’t plan on a major house renovations prior to leaving on vacation. This would seem like a no brainer, but my brain wasn’t thinking when I got talked into gutting our kitchen, and putting new flooring in our living room while we are out of town.

See? On a first read through that looks like a good idea. We will be out of the way of the contractors, they will get the work done, and when we come home it will be wonderful.

But I still had to work, and that left MLW to do a lot of the prep work. Like cleaning everything out of the cupboards. Because the cupboards are being ripped out and replaced. And cleaning out everything from under the sink. Because the sink is being ripped out and replaced. And cleaning out the refrigerator, because the frig and the stove need to be moved so that the new floor can be put down. And the old carpet had to be ripped up, I did that, along with all of the tack track and the staples.

And those are just a few of the issues that should help you decide NOT TO EVER, EVER, EVER decide to have someone work in your house while you are on vacation.

So, I lost my train of thought. Hmmmm.

The ocean is calling, the water is wild. There was a tropical storm that came through last night and the waves are really high today. Gotta go.

Namaste.

If you are reader of blogs you know about the BlogHer conference that is going on in San Francisco this weekend.

Yippee.

‘Ceptin’ I won’t be there. Even though guy bloggers can be BlogHers. I don’t think that MLW would be all that accepting of me attending a conference that is listed as “BlogHer’s mission is to create opportunities for women who blog to pursue exposure, education, community and economic empowerment.” It would be the opportunities part, along with the exposure parts that would get to her most.

That and the fact that I would be drinking with a bunch of women. Trying my best to make them understand that Bud Light, and Coors Light is on the same level as goat urine.

But I am bitter. Why don’t men have a BlogHim? And then, of course I came across this. Men will never have a meaningful convention because unlike the women blogger out there, we won’t be interested in making connections and establishing relationships. We wouldn’t be concerned with meeting with corporate sponsers and making the world better. We would be drinking, eating, and holding farting contests.

Sigh.

Sometimes it all seems so hopeless.

namaste.